So I admitted one night recently to a guy that I love him and would you like to know how I told him? In a message. Yep. In a message. On Facebook. I messaged him and told him I loved him. What a brilliant way to tell someone you're in love with them. NOT.
I was drunk and I've been in love with him for so long and I never told him before because I didn't want to hear him say that he loved me too when I would know that he didn't really mean it. But, in my drunken state of boldness and stupidity, I sent him a message on Facebook, telling him I was drunk and I met somebody but oh, this guy was nothing compared to him and that I loved him. Yeah, I felt pretty dumb the next day. And somewhat embarrassed.
It might have been somewhat okay if I had messaged him when I wasn't drunk. It would have been best though if I had just either never told him, or at least had the decency to tell him in person. Instead, I messaged it to him while I was drunk, and now I feel like the stupid, clingy girl that doesn't want to let go of the guy she lost her virginity to.
So pretty much, I made a fool of myself by sending that message. He said it was okay though and that it meant a lot to him but it's hard for him to fall in love. Ya think it's not hard for me to fall in love? Damn. It's pretty fucking hard for me to fall in love too, that's what makes this so hard for me. I don't "fall in love". Ever. Well, I didn't. I guess, I do now. I don't even know how I came to love him. I just did. I knew there was something special about him and . . . I don't know, I just slowly fell in love with him.
I fell in love with a guy that doesn't love me back. Of course, something like that would happen to me. I don't have good luck with guys.
When I get my heart back, remind me to never lose it again, okay?
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