I Have a Confession to Make

   I am not what I may seem to be.

   I appear shy and reserved. I appear polite and sweet. I appear to be the good girl that doesn't swear or do anything too bad. But there is something you should know about me.  That's not who I really am.

   Yes, I'm very shy when I first meet people. I can be sweet and I try to be polite. But I am not the good girl. I was, but this year changed me. Actually, I think the changes began last year. Last summer, when I met him and realized I didn't want to force myself to be good anymore.

   I changed. I started drinking. The new year rolled in and I found myself wanting to celebrate with him instead of sitting at home. Spring rolled around and I got what I wanted. I started hanging out with him and we had fun. I started drinking more. Then came summer and I picked up cussing. I drank even more and watched him do drugs, wishing I was brave enough to do them too. I made out with him in his bed while his buddy was in the room with us. I lost my virginity to him one night at a park when I was wasted. I would have done drugs with him except for the fact that he had to work that day and I was moving two hours away and if my parents had picked me up while I was high, they would have killed me. And I never have been able to get enough alcohol since the night we drank a bottle of Jack.

   I am not the good girl I may seem to be. No, I am not one of those bad girls that do drugs and are promiscuous, but I am not good. I am far from good and I plan to get farther from it. I am young, so why not be wild now? I want to live life and enjoy it to the fullest.