Once upon a time, there was a girl and she was raised in a Christian home with over-protective parents and six sisters and two brothers. She was a middle child. She was shy and very reserved. She was far from content.
Then came the day that, at the age of seventeen, she moved to another state to live with her older sister for the summer. She got a part-time job working as a cook at a fast food restaurant and she met a guy. He was the complete opposite of her. His parents were no longer together and he wasn't raised in a religious home. He was outgoing and had bad habits. He was the youngest child in his family. He didn't seem to be content either.
She could not stand him the moment she met him but by the end of that night, she knew he was going to be her favorite coworker. They were so different but she didn't mind too much. He had the freedom she had always wished for. He was everything she had never dared to wish to be.
He gave her his number and they communicated a lot for the next couple of months. She could not stop herself from falling in love with him. She hadn't even realized that it had happened until late autumn and by then, it was too late to try to turn back. She was in love with him and she knew there was no changing that.
She moved back to her parents' home and lost contact with the guy for several months. When spring rolled around, she moved back to her sister's place and ran into him. She was still in love with him and when he invited her to go fishing with him and his friend, she agreed immediately.
As they hung out more and more often she found herself falling even deeper in love with him. Then one night, while she was drunk and about to pass out on a picnic table at a park, he came over to her and sat down at the table. He had to keep her from passing out because if she didn't go home that night her brother-in-law (who did not approve of her newfound love) would have been upset. She could barely keep her head up and she knew there was only one thing to keep her from passing out in a park. So she kissed the guy and they sat there, making out for several minutes before he wanted to take things further. She told him no the first few times he asked but when he asked for the fourth time or so, she finally gave in. She wanted to make him happy and she didn't want to pass out. And so she gave him her gift.
The next day, she was disgusted with herself. Not for letting it happen. She didn't regret that at all. But for letting it happen in a park. She didn't want her first time to be in a park on a wooden bench that was as uncomfortable as you can possibly imagine.
He told her he loved her. And she liked hearing him say it, but she knew it wasn't true and never once dared to tell him that she really did love him. Not until after she had moved away again and one night, in a drunken haze, messaged him, telling him how she really felt about him. She confessed her love for him and he told her it was hard for him to fall in love. She didn't want him to say he loved her too because she knew it wouldn't be true, but neither did she want to hear him say that it was too hard for him to love anyone.
And so, as the months slowly dragged on, she found herself wishing that her heart could once again belong to her. She missed him more than she had ever missed anyone in her entire life and she knew she couldn't ever forget him. He was her first true love and she still misses him. She heard the heartache should only last six months but she knows that isn't true. The heartache will last forever. He made her feel whole, and without him, she will never be complete.
This is not the end of the story, but she will let you know when she is completely healed and finally whole again.
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